Strength

Strength isn't playing the "too cool" act. Strength isn't being too prideful. Nor is it trying to be "manly" and not being willing or able to express your feelings, emotions or open up and allow yourself to seem less than what you put off.
Strength is knowing you are broken, vulnerable and in pain but allowing others to see you and lift you up when you can't hold yourself up.
I learned this lesson. I was guilty of not knowing what strength was. I didn't know how to truly be strong.
I regret that I was so jaded, that I had such a flawed perception of who I could be and what I could become. I thought my past defined me, my mistakes and past experiences dictated who I could become but they don't and won't.
I'm living proof of it.
Change is real. It's very hard as many people may not think its capable. But if you can change I can change.
Change isn't about just acting, behaving and looking different. It's about your perspectives, the lens you see through, the feeling deep in your soul that you know you have changed. When your priorities finally fall in the order you know they belong in, when you can put pride aside and admit when you were wrong and do what it takes to make things right.
Change is strength.
Who I was isn't who I am or who I have to be. I'm better than that and I'm better than I ever was. I feel right inside for the first time in my entire life.
I've had many epiphanies but this one hit home the most. So I'm going to keep dreaming, because this dream is becoming a reality day after day. It's turning what was once cold, dark and ugly into something bright, vibrant and beautiful. The baggage was lost in flight. There isn't any need to contact me if they ever find it. Because I'm much better off without all those bags I carried.
I learned to swim, I eat beef again, I drink coffee, I listen to nearly 100% country music(I'm trying to write a country song haha), I go hiking, I have found my faith again, I kill bugs, I am learning to play the guitar, I'm comfortable in my own skin anywhere I go, I want to go to concerts and events all over the place. I look myself in the mirror and see a different me than I've ever seen before, I'm the best I've ever been.
I'm ready for the next leg of the journey, this one will be the most precious part, the best part and the one worth earning the most.
The future is bright, it's just down the road.
It didn't seem possible months ago, but I'm a man, in the truest sense. I know what I must do and how it feels to be right within myself, to be free of all of the things that tormented me. They're no longer going to creep back into my life and cause discord.
Welcome to the future.
Where love is the mortar, life is the focus and the experiences shared are what matter most, where two become one, where the beauty sees the beast become the prince.