I think about Curtis, Desiree, Zayden and Zarielle. I think about a fucking 4 year old baby and a 17 month old angel and how they were so viciously taken out of this world. It haunts me. It comes to me every night. I think of two little babies, two previous beings that did not deserve what happened to them and it brings me to fucking tears. It devastates me to know that those children were lost in the translation of a relationship gone sour.
If I could illustrate this shit I feel I would. My mind races at night. I dream about dying, about death, about not being around anymore constantly. Throughout my life I have had these demons. But since that whole situation took place I think of those lost children. I think of all the lost ones that became collateral damage in relationships, in violence, in irresponsibility and it empties my spirit.
I struggle to sleep because of the shit I see when I close my eyes. I know this isn't a typical posting for me but this is the raw truth of what I am feeling. It's hitting me hard right now. Those to babies, all of those babies did not deserve what has befallen them.
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