My sister

I wasn't sleeping, I was crying and just a mess. Then I did something last night that I previously wouldn't ever have done. I reached out to my sister.
She and I weren't super close growing up and I was always closed off emotionally to everyone in my family. But I asked her what she thought I should do. What she would do if she was in Kendall's shoes. The response I got literally shook the foundation of everything I previously thought of her and her husband. She told me that:

"All of the above. If you made an effort and actually changed then I would hang out with you to see if you really changed, and if you did we would start out as friends and get to know each other again.
I'll tell you the truth he and I almost didn't make it down the aisle to get married we had a huge blow out fight and I broke up with him and didn't speak to him for weeks almost a month and a half but he called everyday text everyday, gave me my space and always checked on me with my friends. I saw the effort he made and I agreed to see him and when I did I saw and appreciated the effort and you know the rest of the story."

I didn't know any of this before. They always seemed to be so happy and always had their heads on straight. I now see how hard it was for them and it gives me more hope. Behind every successful relationship and marriage is a story of everything falling apart only to have two people who love each other out it back together.
Kendall Rae this is something we can conquer. I've made a lot of stupid mistakes, I've been in bad attitudes, I've seen the world as a victim. I'm no longer there in my life. I'm beyond that point. So take time, do what you have to do but also don't shut me out. Don't close me off. I'm here, I love you more than I love football, more than I love music, more than I love food. "I love you like the song" and I haven't and won't stopping to because I know that you are THE one, THE only. We can make it baby. You've got to tell me what I must do to earn it. Outside of me fixing myself you have to tell me what you need, what you're wanting. What more I can do to make it possible. You're going to be surprised pleasantly at the man I've become.
I know you think that this is something that has only recently begun to happen but I dare you to look through my notepad on my phone. You'll see all of these things I wrote months ago when my process really started. Counseling and dealing with BPD is recently new, but the transformation I've been going through isn't. I have notes and letters from July and August that you haven't read and you really should read them. I'm going to print them all off and let you read them.
I love you to the moon and back. We can make it. It's not going to be what you thought it will end up being. We are perfect for one another. You are the Country to my thunder. We can start anew and let me tell you, it's going to be a fantastic thing we're going to build.