Hurts to Say Goodbye

I always thought that I didn't care what people thought about me.
I was wrong.
I feel so hurt right now, so misunderstood.
I'm not dangerous, I'm not unstable. I am as in control of myself as anyone could ever be. I'm in tears writing this because I only wish people would take the time to get to know the man I am, not the mistakes I've made. It's an unfair assumption that I am not in control or that I'm crazy. I am not crazy. I'm as far from that word as humanly possible. I feel absolutely devastated.
This will be my last post on this blog, more than likely for good. I don't see myself being able to express how I feel, or truly open myself up and expose the person I am becoming without unfair and incorrect judgement by those who won't even take time to learn just a little about the man I am becoming. I have made mistakes, I have struggled with depression and borderline personality disorder. I am in treatment for both, I am overcoming my demons and the skeletons in my past. I'm not who I was, or what I've done. All I want to do right now is cry, its all I'm able to do.
Everything I have ever posted on here was true, it was real and it was always my honest opinion and reflection on things. I haven't lied, fabricated or even remotely mislead anyone who has ever read my words on here. For those who have taken away the wrong impression about me, my character or my stability I apologize that I have ever made it seem like those were true. I'm sorry for the person I was and the things I've done that have made it harder to give me the benefit of the doubt. I'm so sorry.
Take a chance, have an interaction with me and you'll see the man I am today. I have more progress to make, but I am ready. I have more bouts with the evils that haunted me in the past but I am capable of defeating them and furthering my treatment. I am a greater man than anyone can truly know on this day. I regret the way I was, but the way I am, the person I am is amazing. If only you all would k=just give me the chance to show and prove that.

This blog kept me from making many bad decisions, slipping off the path to my goals and dreams and it saved my life. I don't know where I would be if I hadn't had a way to get things off of my chest. I wouldn't be in the place I'm in. Again, I'm sorry to all of you for the mistakes I've made. I am not going back to that person. I am a man in the truest sense of the word but I still wish I could take back my past, it's making it hard for my future to take shape because of my grave mistakes.

Goodbye to all of you and thank you for listening to a man who didn't really know how to hear himself beneath all of the pain he held for so long.

Sincerely, Raymond.