Today, August 15th, 2012 is where my past dies. I've allowed my past actions and mistakes to ruin something that was absolutely beautiful, someone that means more than the world to me. Kendall Rae Vickers is the woman I love and I've hurt her. I'm disgusted in myself for doing this. But I am letting go of any and all things that hold me back from improving and bettering myself as a man. All of the bad things that happened to me before her mean less due to me being loved by her. Her love is therapeutic and has changed me so much since last October. I have many more changes to make before I can embrace her and truly call her mine again. I take the blame for the current situation, all of it. I regret my actions. But in no way will I give up my path, or jeopardize this ever again. I had a setback last night, a moment of stupidity in which I acted like an asshole. She is my angel, my everything, but right now I'm nothing. Without her life doesn't feel as good, nothing matters as much as it did.
On this day I vow to leave my past pain for dead, to never let her feel pain or heartbreak due to my actions, I can't and won't let this ever happen again. I vow to make her feel wanted, to make loving me easier than it is. To gift wrap the globe and give it to her. I solemnly swear to accomplish these things. She deserves it all. She's stuck with me through so much, I want to give her my knee, my heart, my last name. I want to spend the rest of my days with her, by her side loving her powerfully through every second. My holding onto pain from earlier in my life has destroyed my present and possibly my future. I release it now and forever. It is finished, I am finished.
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