Bad reflections

I rarely go on twitter much anymore. Too many negatives came out of that old page, that alternate identity.
But as I was scrolling on my computer, I came across something that Borg disgusted and hit me like a fastball to the ribs. The way Corey talks about, demeans, devalues and minimizes Kaitlyn by his shameless actions on social media make me sick. There were times I stopped to that level. I see now that I was in the absolute wrong. Even though I may have seen it as innocent, it isn't about what I see. In a relationship, what your significant other sees is more important than how you see it. Because its not affecting you, it's not planting seeds of doubt or untying the trust built. I did so many stupid things. I acted like a pompous jackass at times and was implement childish in the ways I handled some stuff. I said inappropriate things and shouldn't have ever let those conversations ever progress to that point. I was a shameful example of a man, I was down at the level those men people laugh and call a joke were at. I was nearly Corey, which is a travesty in and of itself.
Social media has taken a huge backseat in my life over the past 2 months.
Mustafa is dead and gone.
I use that term because that was the mask I used to hide behind on twitter. No longer.
I can't ever again allow myself to be comparable to Corey's actions in relation to Kaitlyn. He is the man that society expects from a black male. Don't get me wrong he's a great friend but I can't e that man.
For so long I held anger and resentment toward society for how low their expectations were, but through my anger, pain, insecurity and emotional instability I became the societal expectation I sought to eradicate. I became the stereotype instead of focusing on living above the standard set by society.
My ability to see what wasn't there has enhanced my perception and what's real and fake in life. I know this is real, I'm real. I'm the man I always spoke of being but didn't think I'd ever be when I look back on it. I thought it would just be a natural progression but it takes hard work to get to this point.
I'm redeeming, I'm forgiving and I've released the hate in my heart. I'm now better than I ever was. But I'm not as good as I'm going to get.
Walking the line back to home. I wanna come home.
"You be my glass if wine, I'll be your shot of whiskey ... You be my honeysuckle I'll be your honey bee."